If Catholics wrote Harry Potter

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If Catholics wrote Harry Potter

Post by Godiva83 on April 3rd 2008, 9:27 pm

A rather hilarious satire by courtesy of alphonsetmb

@ https://www.youtube.com/stringstudios

* * *

I know JKR is Christian, but if CATHOLICS wrote the books, they would be called something like....

Horrid Pagan…

…and the Order of the Prophet-

God orders a prophet to eliminate the Horrid Pagan, warning he is the
son of the Devil. The church hangs his human parents for accepting
Satan, but fail to capture the Antichrist, who escapes to Hogwrath, a
satanic church.

…and the Bloodthirsty Prince

The Horrid Pagan contacts Satan, his father, and is ordered to kill all
of Humanity. A preacher stabs him with a sharpened crucifix before he
can succeed, and takes him back to Vatican City.

…and the Chamber of Cyanide

The pope uses his Nazi connections to re-open one of the Holocaust gas
chambers, where the Horrid Pagan is tied up, and suffocated.

…and the Deadly Gallows

When the Horrid Pagan returns in the form of a snake, and then a human,
the Church prepares an old fashioned hanging. They fail to kill him,
and he escapes.

…and the Gorge of Fire

Horrid Pagan uses his powers to raise hell to earth, and almost brings the apocalypse.

…and the Sorcerer’s Stoning

Christians around the world rise up and stone Horrid Pagan, which, as
we all know, is the only real way to defeat evil. He is finally killed.

…is a Prisoner of Oblivion

Horrid Pagan is tortured for all eternity. Aren't you glad you don't practice witchcraft now?


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